Hey by the way, heres a little about me. Im 28 from Essex and a mum of 2 boys and sometimes thats all I feel I am. I used to have so much more to me and don’t get me wrong they are the best thing to ever happen to me and i feel so lucky to have them but i do miss the person i used to be.
It’s been so long now i don’t even remember who that girl was, she was so full of confidence, she was never scared to do anything and now I feel like I’m the complete opposite. My whole world is taken up with my children i don’t even think theres space for that girl anymore.
How can i be so different? Im constantly full of worry and have missed out on so much because I’m just too scared to attempt it.
Its so crazy how life turns out, I’m literally the opposite of what i thought i would be. Its like before you have children and you say my children will never be on iPads all the time or eat McDonald’s but then you have them and you do exactly that.
I am that mum who is a bit of a pushover, probably let my kids get away with more than i should (infact my partner would say i definitely do🙄) but then i lose it sometimes when they push me too far and then I’m up all night feeling guilty and wondering what i could do better for them ?
but thats just it, were all doing the best we can right? And in a world full of uncertainty and just really tough times we are their safe place and always will be .
There was literally no point to this blog but just to finally put some feelings down and get them off my chest because even though Im surrounded by many I still have never felt so alone. (Im also hoping theres lots of you who are going to tell me this is all normal😩)
Well that sums it up for tonight its nearly 9pm and i should really try and shut off, even though i know i have at least 3 more hours being up overthinking everything but hey thats for another time!
Heres to hoping there is at least one person who may need to read this!
The Anxiety Ridden Mum 